Eric & Jeff chop it up with Rey over a plate of Chicken Wings, Ya’ll.

(Just a fair warning…Thanks to the Wordpress software picking the worst time ever to be a total douchebag, the formatting of the interview is all screwy. It’s totally readable, and it’s an entertaining read at that–it just look funky. That, my friends, is keeping it *the* Real)

First off, props to Eskay over at Nah Right, because without him posting these guys f’n hilarious videos I would’ve never stumbled upon them.

Let’s get into it.

The toughest part about doing an interview is trying to find the right balance between kissing the ass(es) of the person/people being interviewed while also asking some questions that might lead to some interesting or entertaining answers.

Of course, having interviewed someone before probably helps, but prior to my discussion with Eric & Jeff Rosenthal, the creators and stars of the sketches on The Real, the only other interview I did was with my friend Brandon back in 12th grade English class.

Determined, I met up with Eric and Jeff in the back room of a seedy Chinatown Massage Parlor called “Rub You Rong Time” and over the course of a thorough shiatsu from a hefty Chinese woman named Mai Ling, I managed to get some great answers to some questions that I had.

The guys were kind of shy at first, but after many cups of what can only be described as “The Most Vicious Bastard of a Tequila ever“, they opened up about a variety of topics. They waxed philosophical while their Asian Masseuses went to work on them.

Na, I’m just kidding. I e-mailed them a buncha questions and they e-mailed me back the answers. Oh, and just so you know, there will be no cliche’d puns like “Keeping it real!” or “Real recognize real!” or any of that bullshit.

Here we go:

 

The Five “Getting to know you” Questions: 1- What’s your relationship? Are you guys brothers, friends, roomies, or former District 5 Pee-Wee Hockey Teammates?

Eric: While we are brothers, friends and roommates, we’ve never actually played on the same hockey team. In fact, we’ve never played hockey. We once were, however, teammates on the powerhouse Purchase Day Camp softball team. And while we’re on the subject, Westchester Day Camp is a bunch of punks and cheats.

Jeff: Back to the hockey thing: though I never went pro, I remember having little-to-no interest in the sport as a kid. This all changed (briefly) around the time that the Rangers won the Stanley Cup, and I was finally proud to be an American. At one point, my parents bought me a tough, plastic Franklin stick (no homo) with a yellow blade. After it was immediately stolen by our neighbor, who would years later be arrested for extacy distribution, I broke into his father’s house and took it back. Hold on – I think my street cred’s going up. Okay, next question.

2- How old are you two? It’s cool if you wanna round up or down depending on what demographic of chicks you’re trying to pull.

Eric: I’m 27 years old, which is the truth, and works perfectly for the age of ladies I’m aiming for: all of them.

Jeff: My government-issued ID says that I’m 23, which means that I’m exactly the same age as Lil’ Wayne. Except that I’m actually 23.

3- Did either of you go to school for music or film or any of that 5 Towns stuff?

Eric: I attended Syracuse University, where as a film major, I was taught the art side of things, and how to make film personal, a.k.a. how not to get a job after college. For a little while, I wrote screenplays and pitched them to producers, production companies and agencies and didn’t get too far, but I was determined, focused and could take a few no’s. And that’s when I decided to make film personal – in a Steven Segal-revenge-type way… Actually, I started documenting musical artists like Kanye, Missy and Juelz, got intrigued by the marriage of music and film, and decided that music and film should make a baby called The Real.

Jeff: Five Towns? Rey! We’re from Westchester, not Long Island! Just because I went to Boston University with everyone from Long Island doesn’t mean that I was peer-pressured into becoming one of them. To answer the actual question part of your question (as opposed to the questionable part), I didn’t study much, but I did major in American Studies. Ladies, you want to see my diploma?

4- Are you guys originally from NYC or did you move there in search of hip-hop themed sketch comedy related fortune and glory? Jeff: Yes, it was just like the California gold rush. Unfortunately, we haven’t found anything in them thar funny hills. Just ask ‘Green Eyes‘.Eric: New York City is way-more conducive to our business goals and our creativity. There’s something to be said for coming up with an idea at 3am, going downstairs with the camera, and getting an aspiring DJ, who doubles as our doorman, to act in our Ghostwriters On Strike video. He was much more willing than our parents were when we lived at home.5- What do you guys do for a living when you’re not sketch comedyizing?

Eric: Most of my time is spent working on The Real, but I am officially a freelance filmmaker.

Jeff: I do the daily artwork for VeryShortList.com, which is a pretty great gig for a pretty great e-newsletter. It suggests a book/film/CD/etc. that you should check out every day. I’ve also written a few reviews for RadarOnline.com, and before that, I took money home from HBO. Money that I earned, as opposed to paychecks that were laying around for the taking.

The Four Questions Wondering How You Guys Got Started:

1-How’d you guys get started?

Jeff: Alright, I’m not entirely prepared to explain to you how this all works, but I will say that it involves a man, a woman, a stork, and a blindfold. If you want or need further explanation, I urge you to drive to your local library and refer to the appropriate Wikipedia webpage, Houghton-Mifflin textbook, or Highlights magazine.Eric: I was driving to a girl’s house a couple years back and heard a radio commercial for a new television show that claimed to be the be-all, end-all for Hip Hop. The commercial was as fraudulent it could be, and that really annoyed me. I thought to myself, if I were in television, I could totally create a better show than that. Then I thought, well, why don’t I? So I started cold-calling industry people, and talked my way into meetings, and pitched a larger incarnation of The Real to a bunch of companies. But that’s an answer for a question a couple of lines down…

2-Was there a 3rd member of The Real the way there were originally 5 Beatles and 6 Backstreet Boys?

Jeff: There were six Backstreet Boys? Listen, I get that AJ’s alcoholism always played a part, but I don’t think that you need to personify his disease. As for us, we have a few people who are affiliated, though they may not be the public faces of The Real. For instance, Dan, who is my twin brother (and Eric’s regular brother), would have a larger role, but the Cleveland Cavs won’t let him work from New York. Then there’s our Japanese-American friend, Shinsuke, who has been named “Korean Diddy” for his star-turns as the Dancing Fed-Ex Guy. Of course, there’s Elena, our roommate, who’s an actual actor, and appears in our videos out of pity. But really, if there is a third member, it would have to be Greg Mayo, who placed the jokes in Dipset Christmas where there were none, and has written/performed all of the original music.

3- Were there any attempts to shop your show to another website or an actual TV station/channel/gestapo?

Eric: Plenty. I’m not going to specify who exactly had their chance, though, cause some of those same companies have come calling again since we’ve gained a little attention. We definitely shopped the idea to a lot of places over the past two years, and people “couldn’t visualize it.” Well, now we have a tangible, successful product that they can visualize every Monday!

4- What programs or applications did you guys start out using and what are you using now? (I won’t recognize any of the names you might mention, but I’m guessing a lot of our readers might–they’re brainy like that)

Eric: We’ve used the same equipment and programs from the first episode through this week’s: Canon XL2 mini-DV camera to shoot; Final Cut Pro to edit; Photoshop CS and 9 to animate. We use Tumblr as the basis of our website, and we prefer Vimeo to host our videos.

Jeff: While we’re on the n3rd front, we’ve been trying to use a lot more LOLz than we used to. The Real 3.1x, you know?

The Four Questions Asking You Guys About Music:

1-Favorite Rap artist? Favorite non-rap artist?

Eric: Favorite Rap artist: Kanye West. Favorite non-Rap artist: Ben Folds. Both Kanye and Ben’s music evoke strong emotions from me, and I feel that’s what music should be about. They inspire me totally.

Jeff: I’m going to be off-beat on this one, and pick…The Notorious BIG. I know, I know, you probably haven’t heard of him, but he’s got a couple of tunes that I think people would like if they took the jump. I’m always a big fan of Jay, ‘Ye, Cam, Luda. And, at the moment, I’m really enjoying the Cool Kids. My favorite non-rap artist is probably TV on the Radio, and I really like the new Vampire Weekend record.

2- Current thoughts on the state of hip-hop?

Eric: Big question. It’s not a stretch to say that the music business works in cycles, where you have low points both creatively and in terms of sales, and alternatively, high points. Present day, though, seems to be the first dip in the history of Hip Hop. Ever since its inception, Hip Hop has grown, and perhaps it’s leveled off a little bit over the last two years. The business probably expanded too quickly and companies were too loose with their money, but I believe the system will correct itself by slimming their rosters and focusing on the artists that aren’t so cookie-cutter. I mean, they sort of have to, to survive. On the other hand, this current dearth of fascinating characters in rap may lead to more dynamic stars shining through. Kanye is amazing to begin with, but looks even better compared to a Papoose, or a Plies, or a Tru Life.

Jeff: I think hip-hop – as an art form, as a culture – is, like our economy, in a recession. Record execs will have to sober up and realize that people may buy a MIMS track on iTunes, but no one is going to see him perform live. And, if that’s the only way to make money off of music these days, we’re going to see a lot of one-off hitmakers getting dropped in favor of real artists. I think, no – I know - that better days are ahead.

3- Did you guys ever think Mandy Moore would actually turn out to be the most respected one out of the Britney/Christina/Jessica/Mandy invasion of 1999?

Jeff: Oh, well that wasn’t exactly the toughest race, was it? Get serious: Britney and Jessica never really got any respect. Britney was famous first for her looks and her ‘chastity’; Jessica was pretty-much nothing until Newlyweds, and definitely nothing after. Cristina would probably have more respect had she not personally brought back the AIDS crisis in her “Dirrty” video. I think Mandy would’ve been held in just as low regard had anyone paid attention to her in 1999 – just listen to her Shakespearean prose during the breakdown of Candy: “You know who you are/Your love’s as sweet as candy./I’ll be forever yours/Love always, Mandy.” To be honest, I’m not sure that Mandy chose the indie route that she’s currently on; I think it was more a consequence borne out of the fact that she was the least popular/attractive one of the bunch. I’m currently writing a ten-thousand word dissertation about this very subject, to be published in the New England Journal of Serious Discussion Given to Light Topics.

(Editors Note- This was my favorite answer of the day because you can just tell dude got way more riled up than he probably ever thought he would, given the question)

4- You’re only allowed to listen to one hip-hop album for the rest of your life. Which one is it? Any answers involving Lil’ Wayne will be mocked accordingly.

Eric: Kanye’s Graduation. There’s so much that I can relate to on Graduation, and I don’t envision myself getting tired of it. I hope Lil’ Wayne’s verse on the album – which we can all admit, was so mailed-in – won’t deduct any points from my score.

Jeff: I’ve always had problems listening to full albums. I get so tired of twelve tracks of the same song, so just imagine how I felt when I bought Eve’s Scorpion. (Embarrassing admission!) What comes to mind first is Paul’s Boutique, so I’ll go with that. “Looking Down the Barrel of a Gun,” “High Plains Drifter” and “B-Boy Bouillabaisse” are as good as it gets. Late Registration, Ready to Die, and Supa Dupa Fly (really!) might also be able to ease the pain of listening to one album, forever. For a non-hip-hop full-length, I’d choose Pet Sounds by the Beach Boys.

The Three Questions About Famous People:

1- Any famous subjects of your sketches offer feedback on said sketch? Was the encounter/response good, bad, or ugly?

Eric: We did a sketch recently, a video letter to DJ Drama, in which we asked what it would take to host an edition of his popular mixtape series, Gangsta Grillz. We were pleasantly surprised when Drama himself emailed us to say that he thought the sketch was hilarious. Dubious at first of the validity of the email, we soon got word from two other sources that Drama really did love the video. We sent an email back, reiterating the fact that we really would like the chance to host a mixtape, but haven’t heard back. Now I’m starting to wonder if he thought the whole thing was a joke. (Cue Smokey Robinson’s Tears of a Clown.)

Jeff: Well, Imaginary (or rather, Invisible) Nelly said he didn’t like the way he was portrayed in our St. Lunacy sketch, but I think that Imaginary (or rather, Invisible) Nelly should lighten up.

2- Who from the world of Entertainment (not necessarily rap or music in general) would you like to work with?

Eric: Anyone from Saturday Night Live, 30 Rock or The Office.

Jeff: I’d agree with that, and add anyone in the gang associated with Arrested Development, plus Paul Rudd. And David Blaine.

3- Are you guys famous yet or should I wait ’til you get too busy to respond to my e-mails before I start bragging that I’ve “talked” to you?

Jeff: We’re the opposite of famous, though I’ve gotten – earned? - a lot of Facebook friends since we started The Real. As of today, we haven’t been recognized on the street yet, and the Time Warner customer servicewomen didn’t fix our cable or internet any quicker than usual in the six months that we’ve had problems with them. But sure, tell everyone you know about us!

The Four Questions About the Sketches:

1- Favorite Sketch?

Eric: I apologize for sounding lame, but I enjoy making all of the videos and seeing how people respond to them. That said, I do think there are some that are under-appreciated, like Bring It Back, That Old Ringtone Rap and Roids All The Rage in 2008.

Jeff: I think that ATF’s Paper Trail for Kids might be my favorite, and not just because I got to do a bad Donald Trump impression. I just think we built it nicely.

2- Ever do a sketch and go “Ah man, that ain’t right” (in terms of “going there”) and scrap it? Or, say the same thing and run it anyway?

Eric: We’ve absolutely scrapped ideas; sometimes as late as on the Saturday night before a Monday debut. We had one idea for a late night talk show, in the mold of The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon… with a magic boombox. And we’re not talking about an actual boombox-as-prop, but a posterboard, with an animated boombox that morphed into whatever we were talking about. It seemed so good in our heads. We shot it and started to edit and it was miserable. Just awful. Maybe just awful enough to become a cult-favorite; if for nothing else, Jeff’s Ed McMahon impression.

3- Any plans to take The Real and transfer it into another medium? DVDs, Audio CDs, Vue-Master?

Jeff: I want to do a The Real radio show, to be co-hosted by Ed Lover. I wouldn’t really want to talk much or contribute in any way. I just want to be near Mr. Lover when he performs his legendary freestyles.

4- Any sketch in particular rile up an E-Thug to the point of “ethering” your e-mail?

Eric: We did a sketch for last Halloween in which we essentially claimed Tupac was most certainly alive, in the form of Ja Rule. We got one email in particular, from a Ja Stan, which I’ll directly quote from: “Dont be speakin on a man who revolutionized the game. I know for a fact ya punk ass was bumpin his shit right up until snitch ass 50 Cent n white bitch ass Eminem said not to. Go fuck yaself nigga or we can exchange addresses and Ill come handle u myself u fickle bitch.” He went on to ponder why we never ragged on G-Unit. I emailed him back to let him know we had previously made videos about Lloyd Banks and the Kanye-50 sales battle, and thanked him for watching. Never heard back.

Jeff: I’ll give you my favorite comment, which was in response to us calling the Hyphy movement a ‘failed idea in hip-hop‘. In a post entitled, “deez crackas funny but fuck em wit a staph dick, no homo,” this guy wrote, “boy hyphy ain’t failed idea. fuck yo lives, rosenthals.” So, we took the kid’s advice and we fucked our lives.

Two Questions I just thought of after writing out all the other questions:

1- I’m a huge Star Wars dork. Your thoughts on the Saga? (random, yes–but I had to)

Eric: I’ve actually never watched the entirety of the Saga. Again, I hope points are not deducted over this.

Jeff: Diddy said the Saga continues. Diddy also said, “No Bitch Ass Ness.” Diddy also said, “YA HATE ME NOW, STEVE STOUTE?” as he slammed another bottle of champagne over his head.

2- (and this one should’ve really made the original lineup–my bad) How long does it produce a finished sketch?

Eric: Our weeks usually break down like this: Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday are dedicated to writing and preparing for the sketch. Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday are for filming. Unless we get a head-start, we edit on Sundays and post the video Sunday night/Monday morning. Mondays are all about promoting the video, and then we start over again.

Jeff: I can’t believe you’re going there. Our publicist specifically said that we wouldn’t talk about this. This interview is over.

***

Call Reynolds, Cuz it’s a Wrap.

So there you have it kids, Alumnah’s interview with Eric and Jeff from The Real. I was very happy to find out that they both were fans of Kanye (for those who don’t know, I’m a bit of a ‘Ye stan m’self), but more importantly, I was happy that they took the time out to answer some silly questions from a neophyte blogger with a penchant for saying weird things like “neophyte blogger with a penchant…”. Humble thanks and appreciation go out to both Eric and Jeff.

Make sure you check out www.itsthereal.com every Monday for some great satire, parody, social commentary, and at least 3 or 4 legitimately laugh-out-loud (hmm…someone should come up with an abbreviation for that…) moments per video.

As always, comments, critiques, questions, and marriage proposals for E-Rock, J-Def, or Rey can be left below in the Dr. Donda West Memorial Comments Section.

Thanks for checking in,

–Rey.I.Is